WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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