they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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