I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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