Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
