White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
