I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
