The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
