you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
