I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
