After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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