it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
