I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
