ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
