I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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