around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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