there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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