I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I could fuck to npr.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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