I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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