Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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