the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
