Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
