you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
