I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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