So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
