ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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