Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
