I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize