the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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