his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
