i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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