I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
