the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
