This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
