Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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