im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
