I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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