i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize