Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
birth control should be required to get into college
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
