Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
