you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
