You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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