he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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