Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
