Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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