So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
