Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
