Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
