You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
