Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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