oh god the rape fog is back!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
