Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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