She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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