I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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