yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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