You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
