I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
