Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
