I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
