Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
last night I used snow as a chaser
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
