shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
