Your mouth is God's brothel.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
