okay pat passed out under dana's car
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
