DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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